My Moral Dilemma

I faced a moral dilemma yesterday, I guess I'm still facing it, I've just made a decision now. Since I had the Molar pregnancy it is very important that I don't get pregnant in the next 6-12 months. Well my DR back in TN put me on birth control. I took it for about a week and it was making my legs numb so I stopped taking it. I met with my new doctor here in NC yesterday and he told me I can't get pregnant for one year and put me on a different pill. I have always been dead set against the pill- all forms. I have a very strong opinion about Abortion and birth control and in all my research on various sites including rock for life I learned a thing about the pill that most people don't know. There are many different pills that actually prohibit a fertilized egg from attaching to the lining of your uterus. To me that is an abortion. The pill my DR in TN put me on didn't do that, so I asked the DR here if the new pill he was giving me did- this is our conversation:
ME: Is this a type of pill that will kill the baby if I do get pregnant while on it?
DR: there are no oral contraceptives that do that.
ME: Let me rephrase that, will this pill keep a fertilized egg from attaching to the lining of my uterus?
DR: the first way this pill works is by keeping you from ovulating, the second way is it keeps the sperm from passing through the mucus in the cervix..."

he stopped short I knew there had to be more so I just took the boxes of pills with me and went home to research. Sure enough when i looked up YAZ I saw this :also cause changes in your cervical mucous and uterine lining, making it harder for sperm to reach the uterus and harder for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus.

So there I was facing a little bit of a hard decision - listen to my DR who was trying to scare me into thinking this was my only option or stick to my convictions that birth control is bad and trust God to keep me from getting pregnant. Seems obvious doesn't it? saying trust God when the dr is telling you all these bad things could happen if you get pregnant is easy, but actually trusting him... that's another story. Believe me though, my heart was screaming to throw the pills in the trash, my husband was telling me to take the pill and my dr was telling me to take the pill. After a clear talk with my husband he understood I didn't want to take it and he made it clear that he didn't really want me to take it. So my choice? No Pill for me.
It's not just the knowledge that some pills can keep the egg from attaching to the uterus, there is more to it than that for me. I'm not saying this to make anyone out there who is taking the pill feel guilty or feel like they are doing something wrong. I do encourage you to research the pill you are on and know all the facts, I would then take those facts regardless of what they are and pray hard about what God wants. I'm a bit old fashioned on the pregnancy topic, I feel God will give you a baby when He wants you to have a baby. To me that means just doing things naturally and letting God have complete control. Trust me if you're taking birth control and God wants you pregnant, you'll get pregnant- ask my sister who has 5 children - she was on birth control with 4 of them and still got pregnant.
So my moral dilemma has been solved and it gives me a great opportunity to trust the God who created me and the universe- i think He can handle it.