It takes work

It's so easy to notice big outward sins, something like an affair, or alcoholism, cussing, those types of things. But I've never struggled with those things, all my sins have been the type that deal with changing my attitude. I struggle with jealousy, judging, patience, self control (in a lot of areas). I kept thinking that one day I'd wake up and I'd be able to control my eating, or I'd wake up and have no desire to talk trash about someone.

The past year brought out a lot of bad characteristics in me, or at least made them a lot more clear to me. I realized just how impatient I was, and my eating got out of control. I got lazy, and my desire to keep a clean house went away as I realized it was so much easier to sit in front of the computer complaining about how little sleep I got. I really got into a bad funk.

In the beginning of the year God started talking to me about self- control, I looked up The fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. I wrote down all the fruit, and a definition for all of them, I also looked up 1 Corinthians 13, and wrote down all the characteristics of love. I looked at these characteristics that I am supposed to have in a whole new light. It was then that I decided something needed to change. As I looked up verses I realized something I had been overlooking my entire life. It takes work to change. The idea of waking up and not being tempted to snack on cookies all day was thrown out the window and replaced with the fact that I was going to just have to tell myself no. EXERCISE Self control. Just like exercise it takes work. DAILY.

I've found the easiest way for me to work on this is stay in prayer and memorize and meditate on scripture. I have different verses tucked into my head that I bring out in difference situations. If I'm starting to worry, Mathew 6 comes into my mind "Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ “For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

If I find myself wanting to judge someone there's a whole list of verses, Like Mathew 7:5 " you hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." If I want to gossip, Philippians 4:8 "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praise worthy think about such things."

One other verse that has stood out to me lately is Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind THEN you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing and perfect will.

I've been convicted of all these sins I was trying to hide, God has shown me what he desires me to be and he showed me it will take work to get there. He lit a fire under my butt to make me want to change. I love God. I desire to love him more and know him more. I want to seek first HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness, I want to be transformed with a new mind so that then I will see His will for my life.

I wish there was some super powerful machine like those mega hand dryers that blow your skin around, so I could just step under it and have all the sin nature just blow away, but there isn't. That's why each day I must wake up determined to change, stick my head in God's word, and spend time with Him.